HEARD IN THE USA

In Arizona:.
You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
You would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face.
You can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.
The four seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??

In California:.
You make over $250,00 and still can't afford to buy a house.
The high school quarterback calls a time-out to answer his cell phone.
The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
Arnold Schwarzenegger is your governor.

In Colorado:.
You carry your $3000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops at the day care center.
A pass does not involve a football or dating.
The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

In Maine:.
You only have four spices: Salt, pepper, ketchup and Tabasco.
Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
You have more than one recipe for moose.
Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
The 4 seasons; Winter, still winter, almost winter and construction.

In the Midwest:.
You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
You have had to switch from 'heat' to 'A/C' on the same day.
You end sentences with a preposition: 'Where's my coat at?'

In New York City:.
You say 'the city' and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Bldg.
You think Central Park is 'nature'.
You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.
You've worn out a car horn.
You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

In the South:.
You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
"Y'all" is singular and "All y'all" is plural.
"He needed killin'" is a valid defense.
Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc.