Months that begin on a Sunday will always have a "Friday the 13th"

Financial News - Definitions:

CEO - Chief embezzlement officer

Bull Market - A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius

Bear Market - A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry and the husband gets no s_x

Value Investing - The art of buying low and selling lower

Market Correction - The day after you buy stock